And The Walls Came Tumbling Down
by EDSidekick
Summary: Disaster in Holby. Can it bring the brothers together or will it tear their worlds further apart? Set in a slightly alternative world, where Alicia chose to stick with Cal, leaving Ethan heartbroken, and the brothers not on speaking terms since Cal discovered his brother's betrayal. Those who read 'It Only Takes a Moment' may recognise a 'guest appearance'.
1. Chapter 1

And the walls came tumbling down...

(This was written before seeing the 'stag do' so anything that occurred during and after that I don't know about so you might have to ignore some glaringly obvious mistakes)

"I'll be back soon, maybe we can go out for a drink tonight?" Alicia said, a smile on her face.

"Definitely, though I'm thinking more of what will happen after the drink."

"Cal!" She giggled. "You're so bad."

"But you love it." He grinned as he spoke into his mobile. "I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either. It's been nice to catch up with me mam, but it was getting a bit much after a couple of days."

"Yeah? Well I've got a nice surprise for you when you get back."

"Oh yeah? I know what your surprises are like Cal." She said, unable to hide the smile.

"Trust me, you'll love it."

"I'm sure I will. I need to get going. I'll see you soon." Alicia said hanging up, smiling to herself. Cal stood staring into space with a smile fixed on his face as he imagined how his surprise would go tonight.

"Cal, your patient is back from their scan." Lily said curtly as she looked across to where Cal was staring into space.

"Hmm." He looked up, still deep in thought.

"Your patient." She repeated firmly, nodding towards the doors of Resus.

"Right, thanks." Cal muttered, still not really 'with it' and as he remained standing where he was, Lily sighed heavily.

"Dr Knight, go and review your patient." She snapped somewhat.

"Alright," He said, starting to walk off, muttering under his breath: "who died and made you queen of the hospital."

"Hey Lily." Ethan said, approaching her. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She said firmly. Ethan looked a little taken aback by her tone, but knew not to push it too far. He had noticed she had seemed a little sullen since she had come back inside after taking two coffees outside.

"I wanted your opinion on this." He said suddenly, holding some blood results towards her, trying to bring her out of her slump by pretending he needed help. She glanced down and looked confused.

"They're normal." She shrugged, looking at Ethan as if he'd lost the plot.

"Oh, um, exactly." Ethan said, playing for time, trying to think on his feet and cursing himself for not being better at improvisation.

"What's the problem then?"

"The problem is that the patient is displaying all the signs of a PE, but the bloods don't point that way."

"Right, have you ordered a CTPA?"

"Well, I requested one but they couldn't fit her in until later."

"Well, maybe it's a chest infection?"

"No, her lungs are clear."

"Does she have symptoms of a previous DVT? Any risk factors?"

"Um, not really."

"Well, it sounds like you need to go back to the drawing board, Ethan." Lily said, wondering off. Ethan stared after her, confused by the behaviour of his friend.

"Any chance of doing some work today Dr Hardy?" Connie said as she walked past, peering at a scan on the tablet.

"Yes, yes of course." He rushed out and hurried off, surprised that despite the fact that Mrs Beauchamp was not currently clinical lead, she could still make him jump to it. She clearly hadn't let go of the reins in her mind yet.

Outside, Iain and Jez were climbing back into their ambulance after grabbing a quick coffee.

"What's wrong with you, old man?" Jez jibed at Iain.

"Nothing." Iain said sulkily.

"You've been off since that Lily bird came to speak to you."

"I haven't."

"You have."

"I hav- I'm not arguing with you about it." Iain huffed.

"Whatever." Jez chuckled to himself as Iain started the ignition and drove off. Moments later a call came through from control, breaking the silence that had fallen in the ambulance cab.

"Control to 3006. Multiple vehicle RTC on the industrial road, multiple casualties, no conditions known at present. HGV involved, possible chemical spill, HART team dispatched and Heli-med requested."

"3006 to control, received and mobile." Jez said, grinning at Iain. "It's gonna be a big one mate."

"It's multiple casualties and a chemical spill, not a play date with a pretty girl." Iain said as he turned the siren on and sped off. As they approached the scene, they were met with chaos and carnage. Iain parked up and both jumped out on autopilot, grabbing at their equipment and heading to the team leader who had set up a triage area for the walking wounded. The police had closed down the road and were busy diverting all traffic away. Jez whistled slowly as he surveyed the scene as the paramedic officer gave instructions. They headed off into the thick of it, where the fire crew had just cut the roof off a car and were extracting the next lot of casualties. More emergency crews rolled up and everyone was getting stuck in to clearing the scene. There was also an off-duty doctor and an emergency nurse who had stopped to help.

Back at the ED, Elle had called the teams together to warn them of the inbound casualties, a high volume were imminently expected. She had asked for cubicles to be cleared and the patients that could be moved had been. She advised that extra theatre capacity had been cleared and AAU was on standby to receive overspill, along with the major trauma unit. Everyone was on standby waiting for the influx, just the first casualties were brought in. The department descended into a hive of activity. Resus was full with the critical being stabilised and cubicles soon filled with walking wounded. Duffy was manning a see and treat area for minor injuries with Robyn to assist her, while Dylan and Lily with Charlie and Louise, co-ordinated cubicles along with some of the other staff. Elle and Connie were keeping control of the serious cases in Resus with Cal and Ethan heading between the two wherever the need was greatest. The team worked like a well-oiled machine and Elle felt proud of them. However, she was oblivious to the bristling tension building up again between Cal and Ethan.

"Ethan, you need to get some of these patients discharged." Cal said surveying the board. Over half of them are yours and some near to breaching."

"Yes, I know, I'm working on it." Ethan replied curtly, picking up a set of notes firmly. "We can't just chuck patient's out because we need the space."

"No, but we can diagnose and treat them more efficiently to keep things moving." Cal snapped back.

"Who died and made you the clinical lead." Ethan huffed and walked away.

"Still frosty between you both then?" Charlie asked Cal, watching Ethan walk off.

"Mm-hmm." Cal nodded. "On the plus side, that's the most we've spoken in weeks." Cal shrugged and walked off.

Out in the field, Iain and Jez were working on getting out a young woman who had been trapped in her vehicle which was severely crushed in the wreckage of cars. The fire crew were working on getting her out, but Iain has had to find a way to get nearer and cannulate her to get fluids and pain relief in. It had been tricky but with the help of one of the off-duty nurses, they had kept the woman calm while the fire crew were working on getting her out.

"It's ok Sarah, we'll have you out in a bit then get you to hospital, ok?" Iain tried to reassure her as he gave her a bolus of IV morphine into the cannula, then connected the fluids.

"It hurts." Sarah breathed.

"Sarah, you just keep looking at me." The nurse said. "My name is Sam and I'm an emergency nurse at St James' Hospital. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere, ok? The paramedic has just given you some strong pain relief, and the fire crew are going to get you out now, right, and I'll be right here with you, ok?" Sam smiled reassuringly at the frightened woman.

"You should move back now." Came the voice of a fireman.

"No, I'm staying with her, I promised I'd be here." Sam said firmly.

"Right, then you should put this on." Iain said, handing her a spare high visibility jacket and helmet to protect her. The nurse did as he requested and moved back towards Sarah so she could see she was still there. Iain and Jez had the trolley on standby ready to go.

"Hey Iain, that's Alicia over there isn't it?" Jez said suddenly, catching site of her moving through the site.

"Yeah, it is." Iain squinted, protecting his eyes from the blinding wintery sun.

"She must be the off duty doctor." Jez said, waving his hand. "Alicia! Alicia, over here!" Jez called. She looked up and broke out into a slow run to make her way over.

"What is it?" She asked urgently.

"We didn't know you were here." Jez smiled.

"Is that it? I thought you needed me." Alicia huffed slightly, shaking her head.

"Nah, we're good, we're waiting to take this girl in next." Jez shrugged. "I think they might need you over there though." Jez pointed as the fire crew waved her over.

"Catch you later?" She said over her shoulder as she left, "I think drinks will be needed."

"Definitely." He grinned and turned back to Sarah who was nearly out. When she was free they scooped her into the waiting ambulance, accompanied by Sam, who was assisting Iain by maintaining firm pressure on a large leg wound, trying to limit blood loss. Sarah had insisted that Sam came with them, and she was becoming less alert and starting to panic more. Sam had also sustained a laceration across her eyebrow and was hiding a sprained wrist along with a few bumps and bruising to her ribs, adrenaline enabling her to continue to treat Sarah.

"Which hospital are we heading to?" Sam asked Iain as they continued to treat Sarah.

"Holby are receiving the main bulk." Iain said, injecting another dose of pain relief into Sarah.

"Right," she nodded, "I suppose we are nearer to them here."

"So, you work at St James'?"

"Yeah, I've been there for a couple of years now."

"I might have seen you in there before?"

"I doubt it, you'd have remembered me." Sam smiled, her eyes shining with humour.

"I suppose I would have." He grinned back.

"You're doing really well, Sarah, we're nearly there." Sam reassured the girl, who was slipping further towards unconsciousness. Sam looked towards Iain with increasing concern. "Her blood loss is too much, if we don't replace it soon she won't make it." Sam added with a whisper.

Soon they were heading through to resus with Sarah on a trolley, Sam maintaining pressure on her leg wound and Iain giving a thorough hand over.

"And who is this?" Connie asked, motioning to Sam.

"Off-duty Nurse from St James', she helped out at the scene."

"Right, well thank you, we've got it from here, you should get yourself booked in to be checked out."

"Oh no, I'm fine really." Sam said, but Connie gave her a look that said it wasn't up for discussion. Sam smiled as Cal took over the pressure on the wound and Connie took control of the situation. She slowly walked back out into the ED, heading towards the external doors.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Iain said as he and Jez wheeled their trolley back out towards the ambulance. "You should get that head wound seen to."

"Oh, this? It's fine." Sam said, wincing slightly as she touched the cut on her forehead.

"No, go on, inside." Iain said, pointing her back towards Noel at the reception desk.

"Ooh, doesn't he get masterful." Jez laughed.

"Shut it." Iain gave him a look as they continued back out to the ambulance.

"Right, we've got the blood running through the rapid infuser, but I think this wound is going to need surgery." Cal said to Connie.

"Let me see." She said, peering over. Cal barely let up the pressure and the wound spurted.

"I think you're right. Keep it packed and I'll phone the vascular surgeons. Keep that blood running and let's try and stabilise her quickly." Connie said as she snatched up the phone in resus. Cal nodded and set to work trying to gain control.

"I think we need to intubate, her GCS is dropping, she's barely responsive now." Cal said looking seriously towards Duffy, who had come in to lend a hand.

"Right, let me get set up for you then I'll take that wound pressure over." Duffy nodded, quickly gathering the equipment for Cal.

"Thanks Duffy." Cal smiled as she took the pressure and he washed his hands in preparation to intubate Sarah. Just as he was completing the procedure, Connie slammed the phone down.

"The on-call consultant is still tied up in the previous case we sent up and may not be out of theatre for another hour. I think I'm going to have to try and suture here, at least to hold it off for a bit."

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Duffy agreed and Cal nodded.

Iain and Jez got back into the ambulance and were sent straight back out to the site to evacuate more casualties. Iain was just approaching the site in the ambulance when there was an almighty boom, as a huge explosion sounded, sending flames into the air and debris soaring across the site. Iain slammed on the ambulance brakes and Jez instinctively ducked for cover, and both sat shell-shocked for just a split second before diving out of the vehicle to assess the situation.

"What's happened? What's going on?" Iain shouted, but the fire officer ushered them away again as his men moved in to douse the flames.

"Stay back until we clear the scene." The fire officer said firmly.

"Iain look!" Jez shouted suddenly, pointing across the road. "I think that's Alicia!" He instinctively started to run towards the figure slumped on the roadside.

"I said wait!" The fire officer shouted but it was too late and Iain sped off after Jez towards the motionless figure. They approached Alicia, Jez reaching her first, trying desperately to rouse her, but it was clear she must have been thrown some distance by the explosion and had been caught in the crossfire of debris. She was in a terrible way. Iain raced back to the ambulance and grabbed the kit, relieved they were far enough from the last of the flames to hopefully be able to get in and save her.

"Alicia, Alicia, it's Jez, can you hear me?" Jez said, listening to see if he could hear her breathing. He could just about make out some ragged breath sounds and a small whimper, but she slipped into a state of unconscious before Iain could get back with the kit.

"Alicia, stay with us, we'll get you in as soon as possible." Jez was saying. Iain and Jez worked quickly and efficiently, loading her into the ambulance to take her back to the ED.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam had checked in and soon found herself sitting on a trolley in cubicles as Ethan checked her over.

"So, no loss of consciousness?" Ethan asked as he shone his pen torch into her eyes. He noticed they were a beautiful shade, then his thoughts went to Alicia, as they often did. She had pretty eyes too he thought before he could stop himself, then he pushed that thought out of his head and tried to concentrate on the patient in front of him.

"No."

"And no headache? Blurred vision?"

"No. Well, maybe a little bit of a headache, but I'm probably a bit dehydrated and having a come-down from the adrenaline."

"Yes, quite." Ethan agreed, looking at her again. "Well, we can give you some paracetamol, then get you down to x-ray."

"Oh, I'm sure there's no need honestly, just a couple of steri-strips and I'll get out of your way. You're so busy, you don't need me cluttering up the place."

"No, no. We need to make sure you're ok. You helped out in the field, it's the least we can do to make sure you're ok. Besides, if I miss something I might lose my reputation as the most careful doctor in the ED." He smiled and Sam chuckled.

"Well, I'd hate to ruin your reputation." She smiled at him and he smiled back, holding her gaze for a moment longer than was entirely comfortable.

"Um, well." He cleared his throat. "If you just follow the signs and make your way to x-ray, I'll go and request them on the system."

"Thanks." Sam said softly, smiling. She slid off the bed and headed back out to the main body of the department. Ethan disappeared to order the X-rays and Sam stood looking to work out where to go.

"Are you lost?" Cal asked as he had seen his patient off safely to surgery.

"Oh, um, I'm supposed to be going for an X-ray." Sam replied.

"Down that way." Cal pointed smiling as he slipped his phone out of his pocket.

"Thanks." Sam said as she started to walk off. Cal looked at his phone and slipped it back into his pocket when he realised there was nothing on it. Suddenly he looked up and saw Sam take a wobble and instinctively he reached out to catch her.

"Woah, are you ok?" He said clutching her steady.

"Yes, I just came over a little dizzy for a moment."

"Come on, let's sit you down again." Cal said. "Where were you?" Sam pointed in the direction of the cubical and Cal led her to the trolley and helped her onto it.

"Are you ok?" He said, flicking his pen torch in her eyes, satisfied that she seemed to be recovering.

"Yes, sorry, I just had a moment."

"Who's looking after you?" Cal asked, picking up the chart off the side of the trolley.

"Um, Dr Hardy." Sam said at the same time as Cal recognised his brothers handwriting on the chart. She saw a flash of reaction in his eyes. "Is that bad?" She asked, reading his reaction.

"No. Not at all, he's um, he's a very good doctor." Cal said, a slight hurt tone in his voice. "I just thought I should update him on your condition."

"No, really, I'm ok." Sam assured him and Cal looked slightly relieved.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm fully recovered, see? I'll just make my way to x-ray." Sam said, hopping back down off the trolley. As they left the cubical Ethan reappeared.

"What are you doing with my patient?" Ethan said firmly.

"Relax Ethan, I was just helping her."

"I'm sure you were." Ethan spat out quietly, trying to ensure Sam didn't hear.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean." Cal whispered back harshly.

"You know exactly." Ethan huffed.

"No I don't Ethan, I don't know what has gone on here at all. I don't know why you're so annoyed with me all the time, why you don't talk to me anymore unless you're picking a fight. If either of us has the right to be pissed off then it's me, after all you slept with my girlfriend!"

"I wha- I-I, well it's not like you didn't deserve it." Ethan recovered from the shock announcement with another cutting remark.

"I deserved it? Really Ethan? That's why you did it? Come on, you don't fool me, you never stopped liking her, did you?"

"It's more than that."

"Oh what, don't tell me, you love each other." Cal spat back.

"No, she made it clear who she wanted when she chose you. It's the same as always, they always chose you."

"So that's it, you're jealous and you can't handle it so you're punishing me." Cal said, his voice raising in anger. Sam had slipped unnoticed out of the cubical and had pulled the curtain around to stop people staring, but she didn't feel she could intervene to stop this dispute. Instead she started to head to x-ray. Suddenly she heard the unmistakable sound of a punch being thrown and a grunt and saw Cal come flying out of the cubical clutching his face and looking angry. He turned and stalked off leaving Sam and the rest of the department staring as Ethan too stormed out and walked off. Charlie instinctively headed off after Cal whilst Lily went to catch Ethan.

…

"We should phone this through." Jez glanced over his shoulder looking worried as he jumped in the ambulance to drive back to the ED.

"Yeah, but I don't want to create panic before we arrive." Iain said whilst carefully monitoring Alicia. They had already intubated her, and had secured her with a pelvic binder, but Iain was convinced there was significant internal bleeding. Things were looking grim, and he was worried. "Do you think we should divert her to St James'?" Iain asked.

"What? No! She needs to be at Holby, if we alert them then maybe the major trauma unit on AAU can take her." Jez said.

"Maybe." Iain said, looking down at Alicia, not even convinced they would make it that far.

…

"Cal, what was that all about?" Charlie asked, as he sat him down in the staff room.

"I don't know Charlie." Cal sighed. "We've been through bad times before, many times, but it just feels like I've lost him for good this time. He can't even look at me without spilling out hatred."

"You need to talk, but you two have never been any good at that."

"I know." Cal said sadly, looking at the floor. "I miss him Charlie." He admitted, looking back up into the caring eyes of the older nurse, who Cal had seen as a father figure of late.

"So tell him." Charlie said, holding his gaze, giving him a supportive look.

"I don't even know how to."

"You just told me."

"Yes, but this is Ethan. Ethan is…well he's Ethan." Cal said and Charlie let out a breathy laugh.

"I know, he's your little brother, he needs you as much as you need him. You're both just too stubborn to admit you need each other, and not only that, you want each other."

"I know." Cal said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Now, let me take a look at that nose." Charlie smiled.

…

"Ethan, Ethan!" Lily called as she tried to catch up with him as he walked outside. "Ethan wait." HE reluctantly stopped and turned to face his friend. "Ethan, what happened?"

"Nothing, it's fine." He said, anger still flowing through him.

"Ethan." Lily said softly. "This is me, you can trust me."

"I can't, I mean it doesn't matter." Ethan said, softening slightly at the sight of Lily's concerned look.

"Ethan, please? You're my friend. Let me help you."

"I don't need help, I'm dealing with it."

"Forgive me Ethan, but it doesn't look like you are." Lily said softly, but with an air of authority. Ethan looked up at her again and felt his resolve crumbling.

"I'm a terrible person aren't I?" He said suddenly.

"What? No! Ethan you're the nicest person I know. You never set out to hurt anyone."

"Well, I have this time. I've done something terrible and I can't forgive myself for it."

"Ethan, what is it?" Lily looked confused.

"I-I…it doesn't matter." Ethan shook his head.

"Ethan?" Lily raised an inquisitve eyebrow.

"I slept with someone I shouldn't have…I…I fell for someone I shouldn't have." Ethan admitted quietly. Lily looked at him.

"Alicia." She whispered softly, and Ethan nodded in confirmation, unable to meet her eye.

"I know, it's terrible. I've slated Cal so many times and it turns out I'm just the same."

"You're not the only one to blame thought Ethan." Lily pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she is dating your brother and yet she still leads you on enough to end up in bed with you."

"No, she didn't lead me on – I just-"

"Ethan, it takes two." Lily said, cutting him off before he could shoulder the entire blame. "Frankly, she is in a worse position, she is the one in the relationship."

"But Cal, he didn't always treat her right, they both played a lot of games to start with. I don't think he knew what he wanted until we went away at Christmas."

"Even so."

"And he knows. I didn't know he knew, but he blurted it out just now, and I…I punched him."

"I know, I saw." Lily admitted.

"Why Lily?"

"Well, I was standing nearby."

"No, I mean, why me? Why do things never go right for me?"

"You just haven't found the right situation yet. But one day-"

"No, it can't be one day Lily. I don't have the time for one day. My day needs to be soon, or there won't be one." Ethan said, admitting in part out loud what he had not really been able to face.

"Ethan." Lily looked sadly at him. "Don't rush it because of that. When you meet the right person, it won't matter. Any love is worthwhile, whether it lasts 2 years, 20 years or a lifetime. It's still love."

"But what kind of love will it be with me? Wedding vows that say 'in sickness and in death' or 'I promise to look after you when you become a shell of yourself and are unable to do anything for yourself anymore'? What kind of life is that?" He said, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen onto his cheek.

"Ethan, please?"

"No, Lily. I can't. I just-I need to be alone." Ethan said getting up off the bench and walking back towards the ED doors where an ambulance was pulling up fast. Ethan decided he could take on this case, get his mind off what had happened. Jez jumped quickly out of the ambulance and shouted to him.

"Ethan, quick! It's Alicia!" He shouted. Ethan's head shot up and Lily, who was now walking back inside also heard and headed towards them. Suddenly Elle and Connie appeared at the doorway and Cal came rushing through, pushing to the front, looking terrified and pale. Everyone looked grimly towards the back of the ambulance as Jez opened the door and helped Iain out with the trolley. It was as if time stood still, then only proceeded in slow motion as they watched the girl that was normally so bubbly and full of life, lying motionless, intubated on an ambulance trolley being wheeled into their ED.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so _SO_ sorry this has taken so long to get out. It was half written when I got hit with writers block and life getting in the way again...**

 **Will do my best not to leave you hanging like that again! Sorry! Thanks as always for your lovely comments and for reading my little pieces of drivel! Much appreciated!**

* * *

 **Ethan's perspective:**

 _I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There she was, lying on the trolley, barely recognisable as the girl she was…I mean is. I hear Iain speaking, I'm aware of him saying something about her pelvis, and bleeding…the bleeding…_

 _I look at her, seeing the blood, there was so much, covering her face, her beautiful face. No, I need to stop thinking these things about her, she's Cal's girlfriend, not mine. But if she were mine, I'd…no, no stop. She's Cal's. She chose Cal. Iain was still talking, her blood pressure was 65 systolic, this is bad, very bad. Did he just say her pulse was weak? I wasn't listening, or maybe I was and I just didn't want to hear it. It was at this point I looked up at Cal; he looked terrible. His face looked pale and panic-stricken. Whatever I'm feeling right now, I know he must be feeling worse._

 **Elle's perspective:**

 _Ok, I need to remain calm. Focused. I can do this. We can do this, the team, with me leading them. Right. Focus. Iain is listing her vitals, they aren't promising. She must have massive internal bleeding. We'll need a full trauma scan. But we need to stabilise her. Come on Alicia, you have to work for us too here. Come on. Get it together Elle, the team need you._

 _I look over to Connie, she seems calm, focussed. I need that same determination. That same cool exterior, appear like a swan: graceful above the water, paddling like mad underneath. I'll do this for the team, and for Alicia._

 **Connie's perspective:**

 _I need to keep Cal out of resus this time. He's too emotionally involved. I'll send Ethan to take him to the staff room. I've got this one. We're not going to lose her today. Not on my watch. Elle had better not get in my way._

 _I steal a sideways glance at the team around me, they are all too emotional. I can't deal with emotional medics. I need focus, I need calm. I need Charlie. Maybe I'll see if Ric is around on Keller, or maybe that Trauma Consultant, Ms Wolfe, I've heard good things about her skills._

 **Cal's perspective:**

 _Oh my God, what the hell happened? I only spoke to her a while ago, she was fine, so full of life, so full of…Oh God, I can't breathe, everything is spinning, what's happening? Why do these things happen to me? Come on Alicia, do it for me, for us…please…fight for us…_

 _I look across and see Ethan, he's trying to hide it but I can see the panic, I can read the hurt in his face, his eyes tell all. I hate to admit it, but I'd give anything to have his support right now, I need to hear his comforting voice, but deep down I know he is only thinking the same as me, how he could lose the person he loves. This thought churns in my stomach for two reasons, the thought of losing Alicia and the thought that Ethan is concerned not for me, but for her and himself._

"Alicia! Alicia, can you hear me?" Came Cal's voice, cracking with emotional as he tried hard to hold it together. Shock was the only thing keeping him from crying right now, he was so confused, he wasn't sure he'd ever felt this many emotions all at once, what was he thinking, of course he had, when Ethan had been in the car accident, when he had found out about his mum, when Ethan told him he had Huntington's, maybe even when he had Matilda. He had come through so much, he couldn't let this be the thing that broke him. He found his voice again.

"Alicia, you have to fight this. Fight for me baby, ok?" His voice cracked and a sob escaped slightly, though he managed to keep hold of the tears. Ethan looked towards him again as they rushed alongside the trolley with Alicia on it. He wanted to stop and hold his brother, comfort him, but the automatic response happened and they all kept up with the trolley.

Suddenly Robyn and Louise appeared having heard that Alicia was being brought in. Both were visibly shocked as the saw the trolley being hurriedly wheeled towards resus and both automatically followed through. There was chaos in Resus as Robyn burst into tears watching her colleague and friend in such a state, and despite Connie understanding how they felt, she could not have the distractions in such a critical case.

"Right, everyone who doesn't need to be in here needs to leave now and give us some space." Connie said assertively. "Charlie, you and Duffy should stay here, we need your experience and calm, everyone out should continue with their work, or if they really feel they can't continue, go to the staff room and we'll update you when we've stabilised Alicia." She turned back to carry on with her assessment and treatment of the young doctor. Louise put her arm around Robyn, comforting the emotional nurse, despite feeling worried herself, she pulled herself together and held it in to support her colleagues. She took Robyn out to the nurse's station and sat her down at the desk, holding onto her hand.

"It'll be ok Robyn, I'm sure." Louise tried to offer comfort.

"No, no it won't. Look at her." Robyn sniffed emotionally.

"I know. But we have to hope." Louise said, trying to convince herself just as much as her friend.

Back in Resus, Ethan looked at Cal, he was white. He suddenly looked extremely tired, worry and pain etched on his face, and that pain made Ethan feel even worse. Torn between his love for his brother and Alicia, he knew there was only one person who would win that fight. He had already won when Ethan had put aside any feelings he had felt for Alicia when he'd seen how Cal had developed feelings for her too. And Cal could offer her more than he could, long term anyway. Ethan needed Cal, and he knew he couldn't let his feelings for Alicia come between that, even more so now. Now it seemed Cal needed him. He reached out and touched Cal's arm, and Cal flinched slightly, caught off guard, but he never took his eyes off the trolley where Connie and the others were working speedily to try and assess Alicia's condition and gain control.

"Cal, we should go. Mrs Beauchamp said-"

"I'm not going." Cal bit out.

"But you shouldn't see this." Ethan persisted.

"No, I need to do something. Maybe I could-" Cal started, finding his voice and his feet again and moving towards Alicia.

"Dr Hardy, please take Dr Knight away." Connie ordered.

"Come on Cal." Ethan said again, looking helplessly.

"I'm not going anywhere." Cal persisted. Ethan looked pleadingly towards Charlie as Connie gave an icy stare before continuing to treat Alicia.

"Cal, come on, you know you're too close to be here, you need to let us treat her, and it's not going to be pretty. Come on, go and sit down, we'll keep you informed, _I'll_ make sure we do." Charlie said softly, taking Cal firmly by the shoulder and guiding him towards the doors. Somehow Cal let himself be led away. Charlie nodded at Ethan, who took over, guiding Cal to the staff room and helping him sit down while Cal was still staring in a daze, not saying a word.

Meanwhile in Resus, Connie had firmly taken the lead and Elle had allowed it, stepping back and feeling the pressure of the situation. She was even more relieved when reinforcements arrived as both Ric and Bernie came down from upstairs to offer their assistance. They had infused 6 units of blood, fluids, but Alicia's blood pressure was still dangerously low. The team were desperately trying to stabilise her to get her for a full trauma scan, but it wasn't happening.

"Come on Alicia, we need to get you in the scanner." Elle muttered, while pushing more fluids in.

"It's no good, theatre now is our only option." Connie said.

"No Connie, she'll never survive, she's not stable enough." Elle argued.

"The only way we stand a chance of getting her stable is by going to theatre; she's bleeding out, likely from pelvic injuries, we need to get in and stop the bleeding." Connie snapped.

"No, we can't, we need to keep her here and stablise her." Elle persisted.

"Ric, tell her. Surgery is her only option."

"I have to say I agree, let's get her upstairs now." Ric said and Charlie nodded in agreement too.

"But you don't know what you're going to find." Elle replied, concerned.

"That's trauma surgery for you. I agree with Connie and Ric, it's her only chance. Come on, let's get her upstairs now." Bernie interjected firmly. They wheeled her away and upstairs, still battling to keep her pressure up, while Elle stood still, staring after them in her blood covered apron, as Duffy peeled off her gloves and put her arm comfortingly around Elle's shoulders.

"I know you want to save her, we all do. But they are right, we didn't have the time to try and keep stabilising her for a scan, she would have continued to bleed out, she needs surgery, and deep down you know that Elle." Duffy said, giving her a squeeze, as Elle nodded, still staring into space.

"What are we going to tell the team. This will break them." Elle said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"We tell them the truth. She has gone to surgery, but things are very serious." Duffy offered.

"She's not coming back from this, is she?" Elle said.

"Oh, I don't know. This is Holby, this place has a way of performing miracles." Duffy started. "Besides, she is in the best place, and has the best team behind her." Duffy let out a small smile as she saw Charlie stepping back out of the lift having left the others to try to save Alicia in theatre.


	4. Chapter 4

Meanwhile in the staff room Cal and Ethan sat side by side in silence, the sort of silence that felt stifling. Cal had his head in his hands, feeling completely numb with shock. Ethan was desperately trying to think of something to say.

"Cal, you have to try and stay positive." Ethan said eventually breaking the silence but regretting the words as soon as they had left his lips.

"What?" Cal bit out as he lifted his head, glaring at Ethan and causing him to flinch.

"Well, you know." Ethan said quietly,

"No, I do _not_ know, Ethan." Cal spat out again, not breaking eye contact until he dropped his head into his hands again.

"Sorry." Ethan mumbled as a tense silence fell between them again. They sat in silence for the following minutes, which stretched out feeling like time was on a go-slow. Suddenly Charlie appeared in the doorway and both Cal and Ethan looked up in concern.

"She's gone up to surgery, they couldn't stabilise her enough to get a scan beforehand so they've just had to go in and see if the can locate and stop the bleeding." Charlie started, looking gravely at their worried looks. "I don't need to tell you how serious this is, do I?"

"What about a REBOA? They could have done a REB-" Cal started.

"Cal." Ethan placed a hand gently on his arm to stop him.

"Or-Or a thoracotomy, we could have treated her here." Cal continued to rush out, quickly shrugging Ethan's hand off his arm.

"Cal, it wouldn't have helped." Ethan said softly.

"Wouldn't have hel- How do you know?" Cal's voice rose in indignance at his brother's statement.

"Cal, she's got the best team working to save her." Charlie said, trying to support him without raising his hopes too much.

"I-I don't understand, I mean how-how did this happen. We were going for a drink, I've got-I've got something for her…" He trailed off as he buried his head in his hands again, fighting off a sob. Ethan passed a worried look at Charlie as he put his arm on Cal's shoulder, but Cal shrugged him off and sprung to his feet. "I need to get out of here." He said, charging forward and pushing past Charlie to get out, his breathing hastening as he headed for some air. Ethan jumped up to follow him but Charlie put his hand out and stopped him.

"Give him some time Ethan, he needs time." Charlie said softly.

"But Charlie, he's my brother, he needs me." Ethan replied, looking sadly towards where Cal had made a hasty exit.

"Just trust me, let him think it out, you'll be right here when he's ready, and believe me, he will come back to you." Charlie said, smiling at the young man. Ethan nodded shakily. Suddenly Duffy appeared.

"Ethan, I'm sorry, I know this is bad timing, but I'm somewhat short of medics right now." She started to explain.

"What's wrong Duffy?" He asked softly, still staring towards where had had gone, before dragging his look back to Duffy.

"Well, it's your patient. The nurse who was in the accident. She's returned from x-ray and was awaiting discharge when her sats started dropping. She's stable but was in more pain and slightly breathless, of course she was trying to hide it, but I could tell. I've put her on 2 litres of oxygen via nasal specs. I think you should review the x-ray."

"Ok, yeah, thanks Duffy, I'll be right there." Ethan nodded, still slightly in a daze. Duffy glanced at Charlie with concern.

"They are doing all they can Ethan, and we're all here, whatever the outcome." Duffy smiled at him.

"Thanks." He nodded, then headed back out to cubicles. Duffy looked at Charlie.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him." She smiled, planting a kiss on Charlie's cheek.

"I know you will." He smiled back as they went back out to keep an eye on things in the department.

Ethan slipped behind the curtains of the cubical where Sam was sitting on the trolley frantically typing a message on her mobile phone. She put it down guiltily as Ethan came in.

"How are you?" He asked, picking up her chart and reading her recent obs.

"I'm fine, really." Sam smiled. "I told you, I'm wasting a bed being here."

"How's the pain?" Ethan asked, passing over her comment.

"Ok." Sam nodded and Ethan gave her a look. "Alright, I'm a bit sore now, but nothing a couple of codeine won't sort out, at _home_." Sam said again, as her phone buzzed beside her, causing her to glance down anxiously.

"Well, I'm afraid you won't be going home just yet. I've reviewed your chest x-ray, and as expected it shows a couple of fractured ribs."

"Right, but that's no reason to keep me here, there's nothing you can do for that, except pain killers."

"Yes, but the x-ray also showed a small pneumothorax; so, that, coupled with your sats dropping, we need to keep you under observation for a little longer."

"Oh, right." Sam said quietly, glancing down at her phone again.

"Is something wrong?" Ethan asked softly.

"No, I just, well I guess I'd better let work know I'm going to be a little late for my shift today."

"Your shift? You can't go in to work today!" Ethan looked horrified.

"Well, surely that's the best place to be, I'll be safe if there are any repercussions of the pneumothorax later."

"No, you need at least a few days off to rest, if not a week or two."

"A week or two?" Sam replied, now the one to look horrified. "I can't do that!"

"With fractured ribs and a pneumothorax, you will need to." Ethan said firmly.

"Look, Dr Hardy, I really appreciate this, but I really do need to go." Sam said, looking worried.

"If you're concerned about work then I can ring them for you, tell them you're here with us as a patient under observation."

"No, that's fine, I'll tell them." Sam said quickly. Ethan looked at her suspiciously.

"Ok," He conceded, nosing at her slowly. "Well, I'll send a nurse in to recheck your obs again and perhaps sort you out with a cup of tea, how does that sound?" Ethan smiled.

"That's great." Sam breathed, wincing slightly as she slowly leaned her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. She had to admit she felt weary but she knew as soon as she was discharged she needed to get into work. Ethan headed out and saw Robyn sitting at the nurses station, looking upset still. He headed across.

"Robyn, are you ok?" He asked softly. "H-Has there been any news?" He dreaded asked the question for fear of the answer.

"No, nothing yet." She said sadly, still staring ahead of her.

"Look, you can say no if you're not up to it, but I have a patient in cubical 6 who is a nurse and has fractured ribs and a small pneumothorax, I want to keep her in under observations for a while, but she's determined to go into work. Is there any chance you could make her a cup of tea, do some obs on her and just have a little chat, make sure she's ok? Something isn't sitting right with me."

"Is this another Dr Hardy hunch?" Robyn said softly, raising her eyebrows as a slight bit of humour came through in her voice.

"You could say that. It might also distract you a little too. We're all worried." He added.

"Ok." Robyn nodded after considering it. "But only because it's you and you asked so nicely. I guess anything is better than sitting and waiting for news. It could be hours before we hear anything." Robyn sighed, slowly standing up. Ethan stayed rooted to the spot thinking about what Robyn had said, it really could be hours before they heard anything, and he hadn't been aware of Cal coming back after he had walked off just now. Ethan needed to find him. He quickly scribbled in a set of notes, signed off the x-ray report and headed towards the external doors. He looked out into the ambulance bay, scanning around the external building, looking for his brother. Unable to see him, he headed further out towards the car park. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure slumped against the wall around the side of the building. His heart sank, seeing his usually cocky and confident brother looking so forlorn, downtrodden and hopeless with his head in his hands. He carefully moved nearer, but Cal didn't move, he didn't even acknowledge Ethan as he made it right next to him, he just stayed right where he was, head down.

"Cal?" Ethan said softly, but Cal didn't move. "Caleb, please?" Ethan said more worried.

"What do you want?" Cal said harshly, lifting his head slightly, making Ethan flinch as he saw the tearstained face of his brother, before he rested his head back down onto his folded arms.

"Cal, I'm worried about you. I mean, I'm here for you." Ethan said, still loitering somewhat awkwardly.

"Here for me?" Cal said, lifting his head again. "Here for me?" He repeated sounding angrier again. "How can you say that? This is _your_ fault."

"What? How is it my fault?" Ethan asked confused.

"You thought I didn't know. But I do. I know what you did to me, _both_ of you. And you call yourself my brother. No brother of mine would _ever_ do that to me."

"You can be such a hypocrite Cal." Ethan scoffed.

"Oh, here we go, let's drag up every small bit of the past, every pathetic childhood memory that still haunts you. Every time I came out on top because you were too damn easy to walk all over."

"This has nothing to do with that. But while we're on it, if we're talking about brotherly acts, I don't think you qualify to judge on the brother of the year awards!" Ethan said, also getting angry. Cal stood up, squaring up to his brother, making Ethan in turn try to make himself seem bigger in squaring up to his older and taller sibling. Suddenly Cal's mobile started to ring, breaking the tension between them as he snatched it out of his pocket. Cal's face dropped as he saw Charlie's name on the display. Ethan could see Cal's hands shaking as he just stared at the screen. Ethan softened and reached out to touch Cal's arm, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze as he saw a tear slide down Cal's already red cheek.

"I can't." Cal whispered, still shaking. Ethan nodded and carefully took his phone as Cal stood statue like, unable to move.

"Hello, Charlie, it's Ethan."

"Ethan, where are you? Are you with Cal?"

"I'm outside with Cal, is there some news?"

"Yes, you'd better both come back in." Charlie said, as Ethan desperately tried to read the tone of his voice to work out what was going on.

"OK, we'll be right in." Ethan said, hanging up. "Come on Cal, let's get you back inside."

"I can't." Cal said, shaking his head as another tear escaped.

"You can. I'm here, I'm right here with you. I'm not leaving you." Ethan said, his voice flowing with love and emotion for his brother, instantly forgetting their near argument, and putting his arm awkwardly around Cal's shoulder. For a moment, Cal looked as if he was going to obediently follow his brother, but then he stopped and looked him in the eye.

"I love her, I really love her Ethan. And I could be about to lose her, and I hate that those feelings are tainted knowing what you both did." Cal said as he shrugged Ethan's arm off and walked away, leaving Ethan rooted to the spot in shock, staring as his brother disappeared back inside. Ethan felt his heart sink, as he felt disgusted with himself for what he had done to his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

Bernie looked towards her team in theatre, she was an excellent trauma surgeon, she knew that. Not that she was overly smug, but she knew she had advanced skills and she knew she had the calm mind needed for the decision making, but that didn't mean decisions were easy to make. Especially not when it came to something that was going to rock a vital department of their hospital to its very core. She kept fighting, she had to keep fighting this fight.

"No, I've been involved in the RTC, I'm ok, just some bruising to my ribs, I'll be there, just a bit late I'm afraid…no, I understand…yes, I realise this won't look good on my application…but you know I can do the job…I need the job…yes, I know." Sam sighed, looking deflated. "Thank you. I'll be there as soon as I can." She said as she hung up and placed her phone beside her as Robyn popped around the corner with a cup of tea and a comforting smile.

"Everything ok?" She asked, offering Sam the tea with another smile.

"Oh, y-yes, everything is fine, thanks." Sam smiled forcefully. "Thank you for this." She took the cup gratefully.

"How's the pain?"

"Oh fine. I'm sure you have more critical patient's than me after that RTC."

"Well, you're no less important than any of them."

"Thank, but really, I'm ok. If I could just get out of here, I mean home for some rest."

"Well, I'd say you've got a few weeks of that to look forward to." Robyn said.

"Yes." Sam said quietly, not making eye contact.

"You don't look pleased? I'd love a few weeks off being paid to catch up with tv." Robyn chuckled.

"Yes, I guess there are some perks." Sam added, trying to smile.

"Is there something else wrong?" Robyn asked, looking sincerely. Sam glanced back and took a deep breath, trying to decide whether to explain why she was desperate to get back to work. But she breathed out slowly and forced a smile.

"No, everything's fine, but thank you." Sam nodded and Robyn took this as her cue and slipped out from behind the curtain.

"There you are!" Louise called, grabbing Robyn's arm. "Charlie has news from upstairs. Come on." Louise said firmly but gravely as the two nurses made their way to join the others in the staff room.

As Ethan gathered himself, walking back towards the doors of the ED, he took a deep breath. He looked around for signs of Cal and Charlie, but he couldn't see them through all the people milling about the crowded department. He made his way through them towards the staff room, seeing Charlie's back through the doorway. He looked around and could see the grim faces of most of his colleagues and as he headed inside, Charlie turned to face him, nodding slightly as Ethan turned to close the door. Ethan looked at his brother, who was white behind his tear stained face, and didn't need to hear what was coming next. He knew.

As Charlie opened his mouth to speak, Mrs Beauchamp entered the room, passing a slight glance towards Charlie, she shook her head so slightly that only he noticed. He closed his mouth again and stepped aside, without speaking, giving her the floor. Some of the faces glanced up at her expectantly, some couldn't face looking up from the floor where their worried gazes lay. Cal remained seated, white faced, staring blankly ahead, a haunted look which cut Ethan to the core.

"Ms Wolfe and her team, as you know, have been trying to stabilise Dr Munro, A-Alicia." Connie slightly stuttered uncharacteristically, but soon regained her composure. "But she, well there was a catastrophic internal bleed, they just couldn't stop it. I'm afraid Alicia was pronounced dead about 15 minutes ago." Connie said gravely, looking at the shocked and devastated faces of her staff. Robyn sobbed loudly while Louise again comforted her, trying hard to hold in her emotions at losing her close friend. Charlie and Duffy, despite their shock, rallied around, supporting their junior staff, when suddenly the room fell silent as Cal stood up, still staring into the distance. Before anyone could stop him, or speak to him, he was gone, charging out of the department and into the cool air. Connie tried to call out after him but there was no response as he disappeared out of sight.

Ethan tried to swallow, but his throat felt tight. He couldn't believe it was all over, that he would never again hear Alicia's laugh, see her bright smile, that he would never smell her sweet scent in the hallway of his flat, that she wouldn't be diving out of Cal's room towards the bathroom and blocking it while she readied herself for the day as he felt the sorrow in his heart that she would never be his. Then he cursed himself again for being selfish. His brother was the one who had the right to be hurting right now, not him, after all, he was nothing to her, not like Cal. He was just the brother-in-law character, the odd brother-in-law with a stupid schoolboy crush that he had not yet quite recovered from. And now he needed to step up, and be there for his brother, because Cal needed him.

Cal was outside, he was numb, he couldn't comprehend what was happening. He doubted himself that he had heard Connie correctly, perhaps Charlie should have explained it, he would talk sense. But then when had Connie Beauchamp not spoken sense…well there was that time after Grace had been in her accident, but anyone could excuse that. Anyway, when he had mentioned her behaviour Alicia had justified it…Alicia, the common sense in Cal's crazy world. Sure, she did some strange things, she hadn't always acted sensibly, but she had tamed the wild side of Cal, somehow, she was bringing out his need to find something serious, the first time since…why did this always happen to him. First Taylor, then Matilda and now Alicia…all different circumstances but all taken away. What did he have to live for now, what was the point? He fell to the floor, slumped against the side of the building and placing his head back in his hands and sobbed, huge heavy sobs, his shoulders heaving as his eyes pushed out the salty tears of his grief.


End file.
